La grande bellezza
🧿 Exploring trust and destiny
All pull quotes in this piece are attributed back to the 2013 Italian film, La Grande Bellezza, directed by Paolo Sorrentino
I overcame my writer’s block in the past three weeks by switching up my medium. Check out my POETRY IN EDEN podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for a different flavour.
If you also want to hear a version of this newsletter on the podcast, here’s a direct link to episode 12 on Spotify and Apple podcasts!
Understand to be understood
Speaking of switching things up, I also picked up learning a new language. I have spent my entire life learning new languages because it allows for a deeper understanding of expression and the ability to express.
Languages in the order I learned them intensively: English is my mother tongue and Jamaican patois was her mother tongue, which she spoke to us growing up and we went to Jamaica almost every other year growing up - One month French - Six years of latin and Spanish - 6 years of German - 6 months of Mandarin - 1 month of Japanese and Korean - now, 5 months of Italian.
The Italian language is the only one right now that takes my breath away. It says a lot without saying too much. The words are not too long, and it is full of vibrancy and colour.
Italian is undeniably beautiful to speak and to hear. So, when a random guy at a party told me I must watch this Italian film, La Grande Bellezza (The Great Beauty), I had no doubt I would watch it immediately, and in fact, I watched it the next day.
We follow the protagonist, Jep Gambardella’s, life. I cannot say it is a life I would create for myself, but as an author, like the protagonist, I understand it.
I was destined for sensibility. I was destined to become a writer. I was destined to become Jep Gambardella.
Aren’t we all destined for something? I think so. Aren’t we all learning something we never managed to grasp or to let go of, life after life after life? I believe so. And so, it goes and it goes and it goes.
May we let it unfold.
Orietta: Why doesn't he ever talk?
Jep Gambardella: Because he listens.
Destiny aka serendipity aka la provvidenza
“This is how it always ends. With death. But first there was life. Hidden beneath the blah, blah, blah. It's all settled beneath the chitter chatter and the noise. Silence and sentiment. Emotion and fear. The haggard, inconstant flashes of beauty. And then the wretched squalor and miserable humanity. All buried under the cover of the embarrassment of being in the world, blah, blah, blah... Beyond there is what lies beyond. I don't deal with what lies beyond. Therefore... let this novel begin. After all ... it's just a trick. Yes, it's just a trick.”
I woke up the other night from a dream. My late mother was looking at me in a wedding dress with a silly and joyful smile on her face. It was an interesting moment for us both to the point where I started walking backwards away from her in that realm and into another one - (I have never walked away from my mother in a dream). As I walked back and back, I literally backed into reality, and woke up with my eyes wide.
Clink. There was the sudden sound of metal on wood. I looked down beside my bed to find a bracelet on the floor. This bracelet had disappeared (or so I thought) for 10 years or more.
How did it suddenly appear on the floor on the other side of the ocean with me? What was going on here? I took it into my hands, and read the inscription on the metal.
‘Go live & become’
Chills went down my spine. I wrote the inscription to myself years ago as a reminder to go live my life and become the most true version of myself. Ten years later, I can deeply and truly say, I did that!
I tied the bracelet around my wrist again as a memento to always believing in myself and my community, and I fell back to sleep into the realm of hopes and dreams . . .
I trust myself so I trust you too
“The most important thing I discovered a few days after turning 65 is that I can't waste any more time doing things I don't want to do.”
Maybe this statement is a statement full of privilege, but somehow, it resonates deeply for me.
For my age, I feel I have accomplished a lot; I have done a lot, and I have seen a lot of the world.
This required day after day, month after month, year after year, of doing many things I did not want to do, and to me, this was character building at its finest.
I really think we must earn the privilege to sit back and paint our lives, or else we may squander it or worst yet — take it for granted.
Please, do not take this beautiful life for granted. Please do not take your loved ones for granted. I always say … life is long and short. It speeds right before our eyes and if we do not grab it by the tail, hold on tight for dear life, and enjoy the ride, we might die with our dreams still buried in our heart!
“Thank goodness. We still have something nice to do together. The future is marvelous.”
Thank goodness we have one another. Thank goodness we can always take the long road home from our heads to our hearts.
Inshallah. Saluti a la provvidenza. Amen 🙏
In other news . . .
While I love your questions about ICARUS, I hope you trust it is my life’s work as an author and there is not a day that has gone by since I finished editing and writing it (over 300 pages), that I have not dreamed of the day it will be published. It will be a series (I am thinking six books) so the way I publish it (after years of researching this) is very important. I am already working on the second book.
I am still focused on the traditional publishing route and am actively querying book agents. Most authors spend years of their life at this stage, so thank you for understanding, and thank you for your patience!
In the meantime, I am working on self-publishing my poems and building a stronger online base, so referring + engaging with my podcasts, this newsletter, my instagram are ways you can actually help me.
Cheers and enjoy this week’s poem 🥰
Yin Yang
Even the mighty sun
Must slip below the horizon
Each day we pray
at sunset, where we know
Sweet rest is soon knocking at our door.
For now, let’s explore one another.
If we went too fast,
I literally might have passed out
from how much I love you.
It’s true. It’s oddly true.
I love you, Romeo.
It took me by surprise,
But I do.
I remember the exact moment I met you.
and the deep knowing I felt.
I melted into the present moment.
“Wow,” I thought to myself.
“This is the man who will show me how
to save myself.”
“Wow,” I thought to myself.
“I am the woman who will show him
beautiful souls are out there, and
some souls will always truly care
for the other.”
Yeah, that’s love and
that’s life.
I never thought I’d find myself there, and
I never thought I’d find myself here.
But, I wouldn’t have it any other way
because this is exactly what I prayed
For. You are my number four.
This time, I am sure.
Yin Yang - I will never again leave you standing
outside in the pouring rain with your heart
in your hands because you
are also
my dearest friend.
I trust me and thus
I trust you too.
Our energies match — in fact,
when we come into contact
the particles all explode
and we unfold into unity.
Yes, that’s beauty.
La grande bellezza —
La vita è bella
I’ll tell ya
❤️🌸❤️ Love it!!